Don’t mess with the Ex

  • Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Bobby Jonte

It was quite a headline. “Ex throws hot grease on intruder.” The woman was at home alone when she heard someone entering her house. Her ex husband was coming into her house. She poured a pot of hot grease on him. He stayed in the hospital a week. He complained to the judge that he was just visiting his ex wife. The judge sided with the ex wife that she was protecting herself from an intruder.

He said he was trying to talk with his ex about reconciling. “Dude! She threw hot grease on you.” There is no reconciling. She divorced you, kept the house and now has covered you with hot grease.

Lots of people lose their minds. I wonder what they think has changed. The divorce was proof that you couldn’t stand each other. Why risk hot grease? It would have been better to cut your losses and never go back.

I had a friend that said her ex husband called her to request that she go back to using her maiden name. He wanted to have his name back. She told him that she wasn’t going to change her name. What would be the point of changing from Smith back to Jones? Those names were fairly common and people would probably not care. She hadn’t given the house back either. All this was after they had been divorced for over 10 years. What kind of insanity had hit them?

Maybe people should get some kind of counseling about the true meaning of divorce. This couple had started hating each other. They need to get further apart rather than entertaining any thoughts of getting closer together.

The money part of the separation should have convinced everyone that it was time to start on a new path. One guy told me that his ex wife’s attorney said that he was going to take everything. He was going to take any dreams that he had too. That pretty well summed it up. He was going to get a fresh start and she was getting everything else. He was getting the exclusive rights to pay for all that also.

Child support and alimony, got just enough left for rent and baloney. At least he does get the chance to start over without her. After all this suffering, why would you want to see an ex again?

Maybe humans are just slow learners. If an animal hits an electric fence, they don’t go back to it. Why do we have these hot grease headlines at all? I’ve got a friend that says he does part-time priest work on the side. He will take your confession at a bar after 12 midnight. He gives marriage advice before midnight. He has several strict rules about ex wives and bars. He says that if you ever get beat up in a bar; never go in that bar again. You are not welcome there. You are not going to be more charming on the second night. You cannot talk to the people that beat you up. They have another beating waiting for you. Don’t mess with your ex either. Your ex husband has moved on. His new girlfriend will slap you into next week. The best thing is never talk to each other again. Your ex wife is dating a policeman with a black belt in jujitsu. He is excited about practicing a new hold that will break an arm in seven seconds.

There shouldn’t be any more headlines about hot grease or shooting with a shotgun. This should be all the warning anyone would need.

The same should be said for ex boy friends and girlfriends. I met a guy that had three ex wives. He had gotten four beatings from new boyfriends. He thought he could go back the second night and reason with the guy. He swears that all exes should be off limits. That includes bars, husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends.

He especially warned that you couldn’t go back to the old high school girlfriends that have gotten a divorce. Twenty years is too long and you both have gained too much weight.

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