Wednesday, March 26, 2014
My children will never complain. They will always listen to everything I say and obey immediately and with a happy attitude. Their manners will be perfect and their faces always clean. There will be no crying during church. They will love and adore their siblings, and never throw a fit in the grocery store.
They will never ever eat snacks before I have actually purchased them. With their clean rooms and perfectly made beds I will read them tons of books before bed. Craft time with my sweet babies with be the highlight of my day and theirs. I will not just be a good mom, but a great mom.
I was until I actually had kids.
Here is what I have figured out, and it was sort of a “well duh” moment. Children are actually tiny people.
I, know you’re shocked. I was too!
The fact that they are tiny people means that they actually come already equipped with their own thoughts, feelings and opinions.
The first time my newborn baby boy refused to take a bottle should have been a clue that he was born with a will of his own.
But nope, I am a slow learner.
The fact is, we often expect children to behave like adults, without considering their feelings. I am not suggesting that you allow your child’s feeling to dictate their life or yours.
When we forget that children are tiny humans we end up with giant melt downs in public. Which is sometimes just unavoidable, no matter how in tune you are to your tiny human. And just like us, sometimes they have to do things when they don’t want too. But, what if we stopped putting our expectations of how our tiny human should behave on them and just allow them to be themselves. Would things go smoother?
I actually don’t know if that would even help. But I do know that once I began acknowledging my children’s individual feelings and stopped treating them like robot children, I understood them a bit better.
Truthfully, my kids complain. I feel like they rarely listen. Getting them to obey is a struggle, and getting them to obey with a happy attitude is not even worth fighting over. Manners are a work in progress. I once had a kid come home with his collared shirt on backwards, just because. Crying in church is the least of our issues, getting there on time is the real problem. My kids have all eaten snacks in the grocery store before I bought them. The kids’ rooms are rarely clean and beds are even more rarely made. We do read a lot but that is really due to my own book obsession. Only one of my kids likes crafty things and he is a go big or go home kind of crafter, so I try to avoid them.
But, I am a good mom.
I have four smallish human beings. One is quiet book loving, computer savvy. One is sassy, witty, and emotional. One, seems like his sole reason for being here is to destroy and rebuild my house, but with a good heart. One has a sense of style that is loud, like her mouth.
They are actual people, with feelings and wills of their own. And I am doing my best to help them become all they are meant to be without making them what I want them to be. And, hopefully they will know that I see them as four amazing individuals.
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