Robbin Bruce: First thing in the morning, and the last thing at night

  • Friday, January 24, 2014

Thereís something I do every morning and every evening. Well to be honest, itís the first thing every morning and the last thing at night. Thatís my glasses, I put them on time I get out of bed, and take them off just as I lay down. Iíve been doing it since I was nine years old, and to be honest, I really donít pay it any attention. I guess I was lucky to start wearing them that young, which does seem kinda weird. But after watching a few adults I know try to start wearing them it was worth it. They are constantly putting them on, taking them off, and then putting them back on again. Once they are on I just leave them on. And to watch other people, to me, itís kinda funny.

I can see without mine, thatís the argument I always hear from everybody, I can too, I just canít make out what Iím looking at. I had a friend of mine named George, he toted three pair, one to read, one to drive, and a pair of safety glasses. I asked him one time why doesnít he just leave them on and quit putting them on and taking them off, and he told me, ďI donít need them all the time.Ē Well if he knew how much time a day he spent trying to figure out which pair was which, he would have saved him self half a day.

I guess what got me to thinking about glasses was I had to pull mine off to rub my eyes before I started typing. Man they sure have changed. I was about nine or so when I started having headaches and Mom sent me to have my eyes checked. Which for a kid back in the sixties that was a death sentence. Back then all we had was those big plastic frames, with the eye glass as big as the bottom of a Coke bottle. There was no way to be cool with them on your head. To girls you might as well as had poison ivy. Plus then you wound up with another nickname, four eyes.

Before long they kinda figured out they might better come up with a better idea if they wanted kids to wear them. So they came out with those metal frames that looked like aviator sunglasses. Which did look a little better, except they were heavy, and you spent half your day pushing them up. Here you are running across a field with a football, one hand on the football, the other pushing up your glasses, because they were sliding off. And heaven forbid they ever got bent, then you really looked weird. One eye higher than the other, then you had to go home and explain what happened.

I guess I was in my late 30s when the next tragedy happened. I was in Sunday School one morning trying to read a part from the Bible, when I started doing the dance. If youíre on the backside of 30 you know what Iím talking about. In and out, up and down, a little to the left, now a little to the right. Thatís right, itís time for bifocals. Oh they were fun getting used to. Although it did help me to see the golf balls a little better. But Iím not old enough for bifocals, you ever said that too? Thatís for old folks. Then the real fun began. Pushing them up, sliding them down, trying to adjust them, to be honest, the glasses were fine, it was me. It took me a while to realize if I would just look through my glasses like a normal person they would work. But then again I have never been described that way, but they finally wore me out. Now I donít pay it any attention.

I tried contacts, twice. First it was getting used to sticking my finger in my eye that was the problem, and then it was making it stick to my eye. I never could get them to sit just right. Plus you have to take them out to clean them, hey; it was all I could do just to get them in, now I got to take them out. Plus all the sawdust and dirt at the mill, I just finally gave up. But I was watching a commercial the other day, and now they are trying to make it look like wearing glasses looks cool. Smiling pretty girls, and those good looking guys, just so happy to be wearing glasses, who they fooling? That would be like me jumping up and down saying I have pants on! Look at me, I got pants on!!

Alright Mel, Iíll shut up.

You may contact Robbin Bruce by e-mail at


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