Friday, November 1, 2013
The other day while I was going through my chores, chopping wood, feeding the hawgs, I passed by the TV and for some reason something caught my eye. Now I’ve got to admit it wasn’t anything mind shattering, to be honest, most folks might have kept on walking, but it kind of sucked me in. Of all things it was about making coins. Like most of us, I really didn’t know much about it, much less cared, but somebody must have, because they had made a whole show about it on the History Channel. And before I knew it the hawgs had to wait, because I was hooked.
Now before you get the idea ole Robbin finally gone off the deep end and he’s going to write a whole column about making coins, I’m not. But to tell you the truth, if I had sat there long enough, I might could have. And that got me to thinking, day time TV sure has changed. Back when I was little all they had on was those things we use to call “The Stories”. You remember them don’t you, Guiding Light, As the World Turns, The Young and the Restless, or as Dad use to call it, The Rich and the Worthless? No wonder we never stayed in the house when we were little, we wouldn’t be caught dead watching those shows. Though I did get hooked on the Young and the Restless back in the early eighties, I was on night shift, and this was before cable, there was nothing else on!
But now it’s a whole new ball game. You can only watch so much of those 24-hour news shows, and with all those channels, you got to have something on. So what do they do, every day they have some kind of marathon on, CSI, NCIS, SVU, any number of the alphabet soup of crime shows. But that’s not what sucks me in, nope it’s the History Channels and its little brothers like A and E and Biography. That’s where the weirdos really come out to play.
Like most folks, I watch the news, but to be honest, I never hear anything about alien invasions or Bigfoot running through my backyard. But if you watch those other channels, you might as well start cooking a purlow, because the Abominable Snowman and the Werewolf will be over in a little while, and they’re going to be hungry. Seriously, the only place a UFO hasn’t landed is in my back yard, maybe it’s because of all the pine trees.
Y’all thinking I’m joking, flip over there, they even know where the headquarters is at, some place out in Nevada called Area 51, its just that CNN, FOX, and CBS has caught on yet. Maybe they should send Anderson Cooper out there, wait a minute, he might be part of the Alien Conspiracy, and if he gets too close to the mother ship, his mask will melt.
They even have another show, but I can’t think of the name right now, something about monsters, where they have a bunch of good ole boys out there trying to catch them. Bigfoot, Moth man, seems like even a werewolf or two, out there with a shrimp net and a twelve gauge, looking for monsters. I have only two questions, one, how come they never catch it; and two, what are they going to do with it when they get it in the net? Hey, I’ve seen werewolf movies before; have you ever seen one stay in a net over five seconds?? Remember what that guy said in Jaws, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat”, they had a motor; I doubt a couple of them ole boys could out run a werewolf flatfooted, much less on a four wheeler. I can even hear their last words now: “Feet don’t fail me now.”
And if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, you can learn about every thing you didn’t know about The Bible, Old Testament, New Testament, and even a few I never heard of. Plus all the cops’ shows, which I’ll be honest with you, are kind of funny. If I was handcuffed with my feet chained in the back of a cop car, I really don’t think I’d be cussing the cop out, that’s just me.
So Mel if you’re reading this and you wondered why the bottom forty didn’t get plowed today:
I couldn’t help myself, there’s a show on, and they said they really caught Bigfoot this time!
You can reach Robbin Bruce by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. Opinions that appear on this page in Letters to the Editor or in columns do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.
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