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Erin Spatz: A "mans-tery"

  • Wednesday, October 30, 2013

  • Updated Wednesday, October 30, 2013 10:28 am

Since I love and adore Eric so much, I have decided to figure out a man-mystery. A mans-tery, if you will.

Have you ever noticed how men cannot seem to do a household chore without grumbling under their breath?
I noticed this the other day when Eric was installing our new dishwasher.

Every step of the way there was a serious amount of grumbling and muttering.

After two grumbling trips to Home Depot, Eric finished the job with the exception of securing it to the counter.

My dad came over the next morning to do that part, which involved two screws and one drill.

The job probably lasted about 15 minutes, but again included a rather large amount of muttering and grumbling.

My dad was a plumber for 20 years and Eric is really a handy guy.
But yet, they sounded like Fred Flintstone.

After seeing two men in less than 24 hours mutter the whole time they worked, made me think, do all men do this?

And then I remembered that when Eric and I were remodeling our house in Florida there was a ton of muttering.
So, maybe the muttering and grumbling helps them work. Like a shark, it has to keep moving in order to breathe. Maybe men cannot do household repairs without it?

Does the work get done better or faster, the more you grumble?

And, when the grumbling is happening and I ask “What did you say?”
The answer is always “nothing.”
How is it nothing?
You are saying something.
Are you praying?

There was also a large amount of sighing and exhaling, which sounded a lot like yoga breathing but with an attitude.

But what would happen if I muttered and grumbled the whole time I did household chores?

I would never stop muttering or grumbling.

If, with every load of laundry or toilet scrubbing I muttered, I would certainly be admitted into a psych ward.

Grumbling, while vacuuming or dishes; people would think I had an imaginary friend.

I don't get why he was grumbling.

I should have been the one grumbling.
I had been waiting for a new dishwasher since July.
That's right, I have been washing dishes by hand, people.
I am not Amish, so I don't know why I had to do that for so long.
Washing dishes by hand for six people three times a day, is grumble worthy.

Having to install a dishwasher is not.

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